Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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