I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
