I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
