I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
then he tried to convert me to islam
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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