I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
