so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
