I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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