he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i used baking grease as lip gloss
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He shit in the fireplace
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
