I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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