when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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