3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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