Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
