those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
