I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
