Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
