he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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