After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
