At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
