My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
