he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
