Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
