I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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