my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
