The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
