I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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