Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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