Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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