That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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