Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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