You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
