True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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