i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
