What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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