they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
