her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
