is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
