wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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