I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
