I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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