i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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