yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
