I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
