so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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