so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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