I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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