why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
