drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
