Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize