Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
