I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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