My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
