She's JV to your varsity
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
